Am I Autistic?
If you're asking yourself, "Am I autistic?" you are not alone. More and more highly masked autistic women are beginning to recognize their authentic selves after years of blending in, camouflaging, and feeling different without understanding why. This realization can be both liberating and overwhelming. Please know: you are welcome here, and your journey toward self-understanding is valid.
Autism Looks Different in Everyone — Especially in Women
One of the biggest reasons many autistic women don't realize they're autistic until later in life is because autism doesn't have just one look. The traditional signs of autism were originally based on studies of young boys, which means many girls, women, and nonbinary folks went unnoticed. Autism can present very differently depending on the person, and for women especially, it often shows up in ways that are less obvious to others.
For example, while a young boy might express frustration outwardly, a girl might internalize her struggles, leading to anxiety, depression, or perfectionism. Autistic women often develop intricate coping strategies to "blend in" socially, even if doing so is exhausting and leaves them feeling disconnected or "not quite right." This is where the concept of masking comes in.
What Is Masking?
Masking is when an autistic person consciously or unconsciously hides their autistic traits in order to fit in with social expectations. High masking autistic individuals often spend an incredible amount of energy monitoring their behavior, mimicking others, suppressing natural impulses, and "performing" neurotypical social norms.
Some examples of masking include:
Rehearsing conversations ahead of time
Forcing eye contact even when it feels uncomfortable
Laughing at jokes you don't understand to avoid standing out
Mimicking other people's gestures, speech patterns, or interests
Hiding sensory discomfort (like pretending that itchy clothing doesn't bother you)
Masking can be a survival tool, but over time, it often leads to burnout, identity confusion, anxiety, and even depression. It's no wonder so many highly masked autistic women only discover their autism after reaching a breaking point where masking is no longer sustainable.
Real-Life Signs of Autism in Women
If you relate to high masking, you might also recognize yourself in these real-life scenarios:
Social Exhaustion: You enjoy socializing in small doses but feel utterly drained afterward, needing significant time alone to recharge.
Intense Interests: You have deep, passionate interests (even if you kept them "hidden" or "acceptable" to avoid judgment).
Sensory Sensitivities: Bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, or uncomfortable fabrics might overwhelm you, but you learned early to "tough it out."
Rule-Following or Justice-Seeking: You might have an intense sense of fairness, follow rules rigidly, or feel distressed when others don't.
Struggling with Identity: You often "become" who you're around, adapting your personality based on the group you're in, making it hard to know who you really are.
Difficulty with Unspoken Social Rules: Small talk, office politics, or networking events might feel confusing, exhausting, or even pointless.
These are just a few examples. Autism is incredibly diverse and personal. If you see yourself in these experiences, it might be time to explore whether an autism diagnosis or assessment could bring you the clarity and validation you've been seeking.
You Deserve Answers and Support
Recognizing yourself as a highly masked autistic woman is a profound and life-changing step. If you are curious about pursuing an autism evaluation or diagnosis, I invite you to schedule a free introductory call with me. Together, we can discuss your experiences, answer your questions, and explore whether a formal autism assessment is the right next step for you.
